In the immortal words of the Chambers Brothers, “Time …”; the youngest of the Baby Boom Generation will turn 53 this year. While it’s fun to take a look back, it can also be a little disconcerting because we need to come to grips with this next chapter of our boomer existence. That does not necessarily fit the pattern of what the generation who sang, “Hope I die before get old” had in mind. One way Mister Boomer addresses this passage of time is by injecting a soupçon of humor. So, in the spirit of Micky Dolenz and the Monkees singing That Was Then, This is Now, let’s take a look:
THEN: I want to rock ‘n roll all night.
NOW: I want to sleep all night, and not have to get up to go to the bathroom.
THEN: Never trust anyone over 30.
NOW: Never trust anyone UNDER 30.
THEN: Pedal to the metal!
NOW: You left your turn signal on.
THEN: Turn on, tune in, drop out.
NOW: Turn on the TV, tune in to my favorite channel, doze off.
THEN: My heart aches.
NOW: My knees ache.
THEN: I have the munchies.
NOW: I have a coupon for the Early Bird Special.
THEN: Road trip!
NOW: Road trip to CVS
THEN: All you need is love.
NOW: All you need is a good retirement package.
THEN: Love the one you’re with.
NOW: Love is a many splendored thing.
THEN: Dropping acid
NOW: Popping antacids
THEN: Dude, where’s my car?
NOW: Where is my car?
THEN: Burger and fries
NOW: Meat loaf and mashed potatoes
THEN: I gotta get some bread, man.
NOW: No, really, I need a loaf of bread.
THEN: Power to the people!
NOW: Power to my hearing aid
THEN: Turn it up!
NOW: Turn it down!
THEN: Boone’s Farm Apple Wine
THEN: Hula hoops
THEN: Sock it to me!
NOW: Hand me those warm socks.
THEN: Love beads
NOW: Life Alert
THEN: Drop and give me 20.
NOW: Drop ’em and let’s check your prostate.
THEN: Pass that joint.
NOW: Crack those joints.
THEN: Charlie’s Angels
NOW: Columbo reruns
THEN: Easy Rider
NOW: The Bucket List
NOW: Sweat pants
THEN: Rock concert
Yep, that was then; this is, increasingly, now. What is your Then and Now to add to the list, boomers?